My country "'Nigeria".

While reading today's Guardian newspaper, I stumbled on this piece and it revived my hope. I really like it and I thought I should share it, since a lot of us hate reading newspapers (I am also guilty, I only read the newspaper when I am bored).

MY COUNTRY "NIGERIA" BY Odohofreh Enobong Ita

Home? This is what my Nigeria means to me. I was born here and I have never travelled beyond her borders. And in living and growing up here, the meaning of this place to me evolves and multiplies. I feel free to live here. I am a legitimate part of this country by all standards and that everlasting freedom is deeply savoured by me. Crises abound, but they do not chase me away; they only reinforce my ideas of how each of us, in our interactions with our society, can make a difference; either good or bad.“

A FEW days ago, I came across a travel blog, where an African-American was telling his experience of his first time in Nigeria. To him, Nigeria was a place to reunite with his black ancestral root. He said it was the first time he did not feel judged by the colour of his skin. The first time people didn’t cross the street to avoid him at night. The first time he, as a black, really felt free.

Freedom? Nigeria defines that word in a whole new way for me. My Nigeria is different. Very much different from what outsiders believe it to be. It is certainly not just a conflict-ridden, poverty-stricken, crime-infested place that foreign news channels depict it to be. Yes, it is all that, but a lot more to me, because I do not look at her through the eyes of a Cable News Network (CNN) reporter, or an estranged Nigerian child living in Diaspora, or even with the eyes of a foreigner coming here for the first time, or not coming at all because he or she believes he or she could never bear a place like this. When I chat with my friends who dream of living abroad for the rest of their lives, they are always surprised when I tell them that I don’t mind staying in Nigeria. I could travel to all the lands of my dreams but I will always want to come back home.

Home? This is what my Nigeria means to me. I was born here and I have never travelled beyond her borders. And in living and growing up here, the meaning of this place to me evolves and multiplies. I feel free to live here. I am a legitimate part of this country by all standards and that everlasting freedom is deeply savoured by me. Crises abound, but they do not chase me away; they only reinforce my ideas of how each of us, in our interactions with our society, can make a difference; either good or bad.

Bad things happen in Nigeria. Bad things happen to her, too. But in all my years of living here, I have seen as she always bears these misfortunes without breaking. In 2001, the New Scientist magazine listed Nigerians as the happiest people on earth. Interesting, right? Whoever compiled that list must have seen how resilient we are. It seems it is a miracle that we don’t get depressed by all the crimes and sufferings we experience. In fact, suicide in Nigeria is considered quite odd and people wonder why a person would take his life prematurely when you would still die anyway. Someone said this buoyancy we have may be because we’ve seen it all. I guess when you’ve had so many bad experiences, nothing breaks you anymore. So, this resilience rubs off on me. And each time I picture Nigeria in the global picture, her resilience is one thing that readily comes to mind. I’m happy that my country is not depressed. To me, Nigeria means strength. Then again, a more recent survey carried out by Forbes magazine placed Nigeria as the 20th saddest place to live in on earth. I haven’t lived in any other place, so I wouldn’t dare to refute that point. But I must say that such a turn of events is saddening and if true, it means that the fire of hope that we had for our country is burning low. Where is the fuel?

Fuelling my love for this country is also the vibrant cultural heritage we have which is expressed in our everyday lives. We don’t have to put on a special occasion before you see us colourfully dressed in our beloved Nigerian clothes. The markets, the streets, even schools and offices are brightened by people going about their business with clothes made from Nigerian textiles. Which Nigerian woman doesn’t have a beautiful colourful adire dress sitting in her wardrobe? Even our foods have colourful and spicy tastes. It’s like I’m being reminded everyday that I am alive. And that yields a vibrant feel to my life.

Life here isn’t perfect. In as much as I am speaking with so much pride about my country, I realise we are so far behind on development, civilisation, patriotism, and many other items on quite a long list. But I have decided to hate the sin, and not the sinner. This means that while I do the things I can to make Nigeria better, no matter how little they seem now, I still love this broken country of mine. I believe it is the love that will always make me to drop the wrappers of my sweets or biscuits in a waste bin, or keep it in my purse until I get home where I can properly dispose of it as I have been directed by the instructions, which always say “Keep Nigeria clean.” So while my mates laugh at my obedience in the midst of so much dirt and trash littered around, I understand that loving isn’t always easy. And it doesn’t always make sense to love. Especially loving a place like Nigeria.
Nigeria is many things to me. And in every place I look, I see a new part of what Nigeria means to me. I keep looking, because I’m not afraid or disappointed or angry that I’m a part of this beautiful dysfunctional country and she, a part of me. Hence, I look with eyes that realize that no matter what happens in my life, in Nigeria, in the world; the interwoven relationship between me and Nigeria will remain forever.

• Ita, is a 500 level Law Student of Igbinedion University, Okada.

10 Signs That You’re a Feminist.

Hate to break it to you, F-word haters, but you're probably more of a feminist than you think.

Why is it that strong, empowered women, who believe in equal pay and equal rights, eschew the "feminist" label? That's the very question Allison Rapson and Kassidy Brown are trying to answer with their initiative to re-brand the movement. (Marie Claire interviewed the duo in the magazine's March issue). They hope to show people that feminism does not belong just to women, but to everyone. The term is not about gender-bashing but equality for all. Check out these 10 signs that show you're a total feminist.

1. You believe you deserve to be paid the same amount as any man for the same job

2. You believe that women’s careers are just as important as their male counterpart's.

3. You think it’s bullsh*t when someone reduces your impassioned reactions to PMS.

4. You believe in equal partnerships.

5. You believe in women having access to affordable birth control.

6. You realize looking good is all about feeling good.

7. You believe in a woman’s right to choose anything.

8. You think it's crap that powerful women are sometimes reduced to a label frequently heard on a playground.

9. You know how to take care of yourself and take pride in doing so

10. You’re not just about women’s rights, but for equal rights for all.

Vintage Inspired bow turbans by MFC

Hair turbans are one of the most popular accessories to create bold fashion statements. Hair turbans can be worn as the central piece of a fabulous fashion outfit.

During the weekend, 3 New Yorkers requested for turbans and we created vintage inspired bow turbans for them.

Turbans have become staples in the closets of many fashionistas. It seems as though when it comes to turbans, the bigger the print, design and embellishments used, the better.

The beauty of this MFC design is the versatility. The back of the dress can be worn as the front. The front can be worn as the back.
We made the model wear hers backwards at African fashion and design week and our client switched her own look, she also decided to complete the look with a vintage inspired customised bow turban.

Fola Daniel Adelesi: Don’t Blame Those Who Don’t Support Your Dreams

Having a dream is very important but beyond the dreams, achieving them is the real thing. I recently said that the world does not honour noble intentions. It only respects results. Some years ago, I saw a video titled ‘the greatest inventions that were never achieved.’ Ideas can be lofty and you may also sound grandiloquent while expressing the ideas, but we need much more than the grammatical colouration and packaging. We want to see it happen.

Why is it that some people have great dreams and all they ever have is the dream with no result to show for the dreams? We can go on with a long list of reasons the dreams of people do not come to pass. In some countries of the world, including my own unique country, Nigeria, people blame the failure of their dreams on the government or the society. There are people who think the failure to actualize their dream was because of the family they were born into, or the circumstances surrounding their birth.

A few others really think that if they had been born into a wealthy family, they would have been able to achieve their dreams easily. That may not be so far from the truth, but it could also have turned out differently. Some of the people who start out on the platform of wealth are so comfortable that they will never be forced to think as hard as you are thinking. You don’t have it all so your survival instinct is forcing some creative juices out of you. If I will put it in another way, I should say it is pressure induced creativity.

It does not even matter if it is pressure induced creativity or not. I always appreciate the fact that people are thinking. So many people think their dreams are not being achieved because of the people who have refused to help them. They have presented wonderful ideas to some people, who in their opinions have the resources to help, but these people always come up with one excuse or the other and never help.

Some people even make promises to you and they allow you to relax. By the time you are completely relaxed, you suddenly realize that a lot of time has passed and nothing has happened. When you get back on your feet to follow up, you realize nothing was going to happen in the first place.

I have been there. I have spoken to people about my dreams. On several occasions I have shared how I intend to do some businesses or even run organizations that will strictly mentor teenagers and help them to become purposeful in life. I can’t count how many proposals I have written with tons of emails already exchanged. Some of those conversations start on a great note with some promises. At the end of it all you just discover that you have been dispensing some energy that you ought to conserve.

The natural tendency is to get bitter with some of those people. It’s even worse if they are your relatives and you see them on daily basis doing good or even living large. Sometimes you may even calculate in your head that what this person spends in a month is far more than the capital you are requesting. If you are even going to achieve that dream in your heart, one of the things you need to avoid is being bitter with those people. If you ask me why, I’ll tell you that bitterness is too acidic for both you and the dreams that you carry. It’s like a pregnant woman taking alcohol and gulping it like water.

Never blame the people who don’t support you over the dreams of your heart. With or without them, if you don’t make them the focus of your life, the dreams can be achieved. You also need to remember that they were not the people who put the dreams in your heart. They had no idea how the dreams got there and when they also choose not to help, they will have no idea how the dreams will materialize.

You owe your dream a duty to stay committed to it and keep thinking, modifying, brainstorming, consulting and making propositions until the dream is achieved. I have seen people whose dreams became a reality and they are indeed grateful to those people who refused to help them. In fact, they say that if those people had helped them when they wanted the help, they may not have done much in life. Some of those other people that you are also blaming for not helping you are probably those who would have destroyed the dreams if they got on board to help. A few of them might take over everything from you or just choke the idea to death.

It is your dream, not theirs. If no one else believes in you, I do. I also know that the dreams you have been nurturing will become a reality so long as you keep working at them. If you choose to keep blaming those who have not helped you or are not helping you, your energy that could be used on getting the job done will be expended on blaming and fighting people.

Some of them will come back to say they are sorry they did not help or they may watch from a distance. Just know that their help is not the constant factor in the achievement of your dream. It is a variable. You are the mother of that dream. You must nurture it, watch it grow and eat your reward when it comes. At that point there will be no other person coming to claim that they did it for you, thus having to remit some of your rewards!

                                               ----------Piece by Fola Daniel Adelesi------------

Tales of a fashion designer.....Bank Palava

Bankers parade everyday, marketing and asking sweet citizens like us to come and open an account. I opened a corporate account with Bank D, I was really excited and felt like I was finally becoming a responsible entrepreneur, it's so unprofessional to have people pay money into a personal account when you have a registered company, so you can imagine my joy on that very random day when I was given a cheque book with my company's name on it, i felt like a little Dangote, I had taken another step, no matter how small it was and it felt damn good. My relationship with Bank D was terrible, they kept deducting a certain amount of money from the account every month. My entire family bore the brunt as I complained bitterly every month telling them I had been deceived by Bank D's advert, which by the way was really catchy. After some months, I sent a mail to their head office in Lagos, they apologised and said the marketer probably did not explain the terms and conditions of operating a corporate account with them. The next day, a polite lady representing Bank D called me and asked if I wanted them to close the account, I politely said "Yes". That was the end of the relationship between Bank D and MiDe Fashion County.

On another random day, two bankers representing Bank S paid me a visit, they explained to me that I was on the bank's list, their bank was interested in Mi'De Fashion County and would like me to open an account with them. They blabbed and blabbed, I starred and starred. I told them ''I would think about their offer". That wooing ended that day because I never opened the account, so there was no relationship with Bank S.

My best friend told me about his pleasant relationship with bank F, so I decided to try Bank F. I opened the account successfully. I started operating the account and my experience was pleasant until this year when I sent my P.A to withdraw some cash and she called with a sad news "MiDe Fashion County's account had been frozen". I slowly said "Okay" and went to Bank F to get some explanations. I got to Bank F and I had to wait for minutes because according to the customer care rep, the bank's server was down. I was then told the account had been frozen because one of the reference forms from one of my referee's bank was not returned. To add salt to the injury, the customer care rep was not affable. She acted like she was doing me a favour and that was supposed to be her job.

As I left the bank, I wondered why the bank didn't send me an email or text to let me know my account may have issues and state clearly that one of the reference forms was not sent back to the branch and let me know the consequences. I was not warned or advised to get another reference form signed by another referee. I had even credited my account the previous day and no one told me the account was frozen, when I said this in the bank, I was told it was a debit freeze. Translation: I can pay money into the account but I can't withdraw. 

The following week, I managed to get another referee to sign my form. It's the 18th day of February and my account is still frozen. Is this how banking should be? I ask this question while I patiently wait for my account officer to call with some good news.