Crowning your year with goodness.

Do you realize that the desire to improve your life with each New Year began in the heart of God? As each year draws to a close, people often find themselves reflecting on the things they intended to achieve during the past year.

Some may look back feeling satisfied with what they accomplished, while others may feel quite dissatisfied. Typically, those who look back with satisfaction also look forward to greater accomplishments in the upcoming year.


However, the same can be true for those who feel dissatisfied with last year’s achievements. These people can make a New Year’s resolution to do better in the New Year that lies before them.

Like most people, you have probably made New Year’s resolution to lose weight, exercise regularly, eat better, get a new job, start investments, take chances or somehow improve your quality of life but do you realize that the desire to improve your life with each New Year started in the heart of God? Notice what Psalm 65:11 says “You crown the year with your bounty and goodness…….” What does God require of you in order to experience His abundance and blessing in the year that lies ahead?

We must walk on God’s path throughout the year. We cannot expect to receive the success and prosperity God offers if we are not willing to walk in close fellowship with Him. Notice how Ezekiel expresses a similar thought: “And I will make them and the places around my hill a blessing and I will cause showers to come down in their season; they will be showers of blessing” (Ezekiel 34:26).

As we round off 2013, we owe God a mighty “THANK YOU”. Some of us were disappointed, hurt, got betrayed, did not take chances, lost a loved one but we are alive. There is no reason or excuse to be concerned about tomorrow. This year is almost over.


Happy New Year in advance.

Flawless

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. A marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are."

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche

Read all about it.

You’ve got the words to change a nation but you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it, how we gonna learn your song?
So come on come on, come on come on

You’ve got a heart as loud as lions so why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we’re a little different, there’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows so stop hiding it away
Come on, come on

I wanna sing
I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers, I’m not afraid
They can read all about it, read all about it oh

Oh ohhh oh
Ohhh ohhh oh
Ohhh oh oh

At night we’re waking up the neighbours while we sing away the blues
Making sure that we’re remembered yeah, cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden, then we’re breaking all the rules
So come on come on, come on come on

Let’s get the TV and the radio to play our tune again,
It’s bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
There’s no need to be afraid, I will sing with you my friend
Come on come on

Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
Now we’re finally finding our voices
So take a chance come help me sing this

Yeah we’re all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
And now we’re finally finding our voices
Just take a chance come help me sing this.

~Emeli Sande~
Dedicated to everyone who's trying to find their voice or path in an unfriendly world.

10 smart rules to help protect children from sexual abuse.

The rate at which children get abused is alarming. It's now the norm of the day. It's okay to pray for your kids not to become victims of sexual abuse but I also think parents should educate their kids to help them be aware when their innocence is about to be robbed. I saw these smart rules in the children's department  of my church and decided to share it. Please do share with your children, nieces, nephews, little brothers and sisters.

Ten smart rules to help protect Children from sexual abuse.

1. My body is special, I must protect it.

2. I have a right to refuse a hug from anyone if I feel uncomfortable. 

3. I must say NO to anyone who gives me a bad touch.

4. I must say NO to anyone who wants to touch my private part.

5. I need to run or get away from anyone who gives me a bad touch.

6. I will YELL or SHOUT if someone wants to touch or touches my private part.

7. I will not touch or play with anyone's private body part.

8. I will say NO and REPORT anybody who asks me to keep a bad secret. 

9. I will not play games with my private body parts.

10.  I will tell my MUMMY, DADDY or any TRUSTED ADULT if anyone wants to touch or touches my private body part.

An initiative to protect children from child sexual abuse. 

EDUCATE- PREVENT- PROTECT

Don't give it up.

"A joyful heart is a good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" Proverbs 17:22

Throughout life, there will always be something that will try to take our joy. If it's not a grumpy sales person, it's a family member aggravating you, traffic is backed up, your flight got delayed or your friends are sheeps in wolves clothing.

Don't go through the next 20 years allowing the same people and same circumstances to frustrate you any more. Change your approach. What's upsetting you now doesn't have to upset you any more. You can choose to keep your cool and stay calm and steady. Remember, a relaxed attitude is going to lengthen your life. The next time you are tempted to be upset, ask yourself "Is it really worth me giving up my joy?"

If you will make this decision to not give away your joy, to live each day happy, God promises that you will be strong, you will have better relationships and you will accomplish more. He says a joyful heart is good medicine. Hold on to your joy and move forward into the abundant life God has in store.

Also remember that the bible is always there to support and help you. Let the word of God be your daily inspiration to help you retain your joy. 

"Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ" Romans 10:17.

The typical Nigerian view on CHILD LABOUR.

I witnessed this scene while sitting in a bus heading out. I saw a little boy who looked really hungry and tired, asking for help and the woman whom he was begging to help him had this to say.

BOY: Aunty, abeg help me, i dey hungry, anything! Abeg u!

WOMAN: “Abeg leave me jor, you no see your mates dey sell pure water”. 

 Everyone in the bus was laughing including the driver. Then, it dawned on me that most people in this society now see child labour as a normal thing, it was not abnormal as long as it was not their children. Children from poor homes now handle the responsibility of their parents by contributing their own quota to improve the welfare of their family. I think and believe that this is pathetic, I see little children every day on the streets, in the markets, at the bus parks and almost everywhere selling commodities for their parents or guardian. I think hawking automatically transform these children into adults. They are naturally made to think like adults in the process of hawking, they become really alert about the situations, they lose their innocence and become wild. Children who are made to hawk are exposed to all sorts of danger. They could lose their life to accidents, ritualists and the females are often victims of rape.

Poverty is so thick in Nigeria, we can’t deny this. However, children should remain children whether they are in poor or wealthy homes. “ Mama Lucky” as we fondly call her lost her husband some years ago, I did not know her personally then but I felt sorry for her, because she was young with 4 children, no education and no means of livelihood. Over the years, I have watched her remain strong, from selling roasted plantain, fish and her delicious stew to working with a caterer as a cook. She stopped speaking Pidgin English to her children, they now communicate using good English language and her children are beneficiaries of Rivers State free education program. I admire her. She handles the responsibility of taking care of her family; the burden falls on her back and not the backs of her children.  Once, I witnessed a child being knocked down by a car, the driver almost sped off but thanks to the men in the area, he was stopped and was asked to take the girl to the hospital, she was bleeding seriously.  It was a sad scene.

 I appreciate all the selfless Young Nigerians caring for people who have less. We have seen projects such as “Slum to School” and “Earth’s Haven” help a lot of Children.  We also need parents and guardians to cater for their children and not the reverse.

  

 Children should enjoy their rights and enjoy the innocence that comes with childhood. Play with toys, create games, dance, sing, act, debate, do home works, have siestas, and help with the little house chores, not taking the responsibility of providing for their family. Children should not have to tag themselves as “hustlers”.

God bless Nigeria and help us provide lasting solutions to problems such as “Child Labour”.

.

AFROCENTRIC ACCESSORIES by Mi'De Fashion County

Hello Beautiful people, I bet you all are having a fab day.

Here are some photos of our Afrocentric accessories ranging from bangles, loop and stud earrings, hair pieces, hair bands, neck pieces, brooches...and they are very affordable. We currently have some accessories in Abuja, you can contact our sales rep by sending an sms or dialing 08164534212.
If you reside in Port Harcourt, you can get yours directly by contacting Mi'De Fashion County; If you don't reside in Port Harcourt, We deliver.

Phone number:08173201661
Follow on twitter: @midefashion_c
Mail us:info@midefashioncounty.com.ng
Show some love and like us on facebook www.facebook.com/MiDeFashionCounty







































...And oh!!! get souvenirs also, our note pads serve as cute and colourful souvenirs for any occassion, write in style or let your guests at any event go back home with an Afrocentric note pad....wink wink.

SHARPEN YOUR SKILL

It’s easy to fall into “destination disease”. That’s when you are comfortable where you are. You are not stretching, not learning anything new. There is nothing wrong with being happy where you are but you have to remember you have so much more inside of you. You were created to increase, to grow, to stretch and sharpen your skills.

Studies tell us that the average person only uses 11% of their brain. Think about how much more potential we could be tapping into. Maybe you are an accountant, that’s good but don’t settle there, explore, there’s a new skill you can develop. That gift will make more room for you; maybe you are an electrician, a mechanic, a plumber, an entrepreneur, That’s great but what steps are you taking to improve. I believe in this day and age, if you are at the same skill level today as you were five years ago, you are at a disadvantage.


Today, shake out that “destination disease” and start sharpening your skills. Keep stretching, keep growing and keep moving into the life of blessings God has prepared for you.

Inspirational Quote: SUCCESS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENS, SUCCESS IS LEARNED, SUCCESS IS PRACTISED AND THEN SHARED-Sparky Anderson.

WALK THROUGH.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me"

Sometimes in life, you have got to play in pain. In other words, you have got to keep going even when you don't feel like it. You have to keep pressing forward even when it's not easy. Every voice will tell you, "You are done". There's nothing good in your future. No!!! Don't believe those lies.

God sees your effort. It's one thing to do the right thing and make good decisions when everything is going your way. That's great. God honours that. But when times are tough and nothing is going your way, when you are hurting, when you should be on the sidelines nursing your wounds but instead you are still in the game; you are still getting to work on time; you are still being good to someone, you are still expecting God to turn it around, that gets God's attention in a new way.

I believe God has a greater reward for people who are faithful in the tough times. If that's you today, know that God has his hands on you. He's walking with you through the valley. He's leading and guiding you in paths of righteousness for His name sake. Keep praising. Keep believing. Keep moving forward knowing that God is with you and his comfort will guide you to the place of blessing.

Tales of a fashion designer (Uyai By Peniel Basic Fashion Accessory Training) 13th April 2013

As a fashion designer, I am so passionate about sketching and creating new designs. The inspiration comes from weird places and thoughts. I have never thought about learning how to create accessories. I love accessories also, accessories are a unique part of fashion, accessories help us compliment our different styles of clothing.

On a very good day after facing my students as a corper, I was laying on my bed, resting and thinking about all the opportunities I had lost because I was serving in a rural area, my sister pinged me and told me about an accessory training coming up in Port Harcourt soon and registration had started. The promo fee was 10,000 naira for corpers and students, at the time, we had not been paid our allowance for the previous month and I had spent all my savings buying fabrics for a fashion show.

There was no cause for alarm, I simply waited for NYSC to pay me my allowance, the allowance is 19,800, what would I survive on, after paying my registration fee? I thought, but I didn't let that stop me, I was going to manage 9,800 and I also had wonderful flat mates "Ejiro and Maureen" who encouraged me. I left Akwa Ibom for Port Harcourt for the little break we had. There was a time frame for registration and I had missed it. I called the number that was on the Uyai by Peniel facebook page, I was told I had missed the deadline for the promo and it was now 20,000 naira, which I didn't have, was I going to just say "Okay" and drop the phone? I didn't have an extra wad of cash waiting somewhere for me, so I took a leap of faith and begged her, I pleaded and to my amazing surprise, she said "Yes, I could pay the sum of 10,000 naira for registration". I was so happy and grateful to God for using her to bless my year. This is one opportunity of 2013 that has empowered me.

The training was on a Saturday, the weather was perfect and each training session was interesting, the C.E.O of Uyai by Peniel was so affable, she took her time to train each of us, brunch was delicious especially for me because I left my house without having breakfast, the other students were also affable, I was so happy I participated in the training, by the end of the training I could create basic Afrocentric accessories such as bangles, hair pieces, neck pieces, loop earrings and note pads, thanks to Uyai by Peniel.

I dedicate this blog entry to my sister "Ify Abidemi Udom" who suggested that I participate in the Uyai by Peniel basic fashion accessories training. I love you sisto.

Personal Perception.

DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PERCEPTION. ONE MAN ’S MEAT IS ANOTHER MAN’S POISON. A COUPLE BOUGHT A DONKEY FROM THE MARKET. ON THEIR WAY HOME, A BOY COMMENTED, “VERY STUPID. WHY NEITHER OF THEM RODE ON THE DONKEY?” UPON HEARING THAT, THE HUSBAND LET THE WIFE RIDE ON THE DONKEY. HE WALKED BESIDE THEM.

LATER, AN OLD MAN SAW IT AND COMMENTED, “THE HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY. HOW CAN THE WIFE RIDE ON THE DONKEY WHILE THE HUSBAND IS ON FOOT? HEARING THIS, THE WIFE QUICKLY GOT DOWN AND LET THE HUSBAND RIDE ON THE DONKEY.

FURTHER ON THEIR WAY HOME, THEY MET AN OLD LADY. SHE COMMENTED, “HOW CAN THE MAN RIDE ON THE DONKEY BUT LET THE WIFE WALK. HE IS NO GENTLEMAN.” THE HUSBAND THUS QUICKLY ASKED THE WIFE TO JOIN HIM ON THE DONKEY.

THEN, THEY MET A YOUNG MAN. HE COMMENTED, “POOR DONKEY, HOW CAN YOU HOLD UP THE WEIGHT OF TWO PERSONS. THEY ARE CRUEL TO YOU” HEARING THAT, THE HUSBAND AND WIFE IMMEDIATELY CLIMBED DOWN FROM THEIR DONKEY AND CARRIED IT ON THEIR SHOULDERS.
IT SEEMED TO BE THE ONLY CHOICE LEFT.

LATER, ON A NARROW BRIDGE, THE DONKEY WAS FRIGHTENED AND STRUGGLED. THEY LOST BALANCE AND FELL INTO THE RIVER.

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE EVERYONE PRAISE YOU, NOR WILL EVERYONE CONDEMN YOU. NEVER IN THE PAST, NOT AT THE PRESENT AND NEVER WILL BE IN THE FUTURE.
THUS, DO NOT BE TOO BOTHERED BY PEOPLE'S OPINIONS, OPINIONS ARE NOT FACTS.

DEDICATED TO People who constantly try so hard to please others.

MOST CHERISHED NOTE.

TO LAUGH MUCH AND OFTEN;
TO WIN THE RESPECT OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
AND THE AFFECTION OF LITTLE CHILDREN;
TO EARN THE APPRECIATION OF HONEST CRITICS
AND ENDURE THE BETRAYAL OF FALSE FRIENDS;
TO APPRECIATE BEAUTY, TO FIND THE BEST IN OTHERS;
TO LEAVE THE WORLD A BIT BETTER,
WHETHER BY A HEALTHY CHILD, A GARDEN PATCH
OR A REDEEMED SOCIAL CONDITION;
TO KNOW EVEN ONE LIFE HAS BREATHED EASIER
BECAUSE YOU LIVED.
THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED.
I LOVE THIS NOTE, IT'S BY RALPH WALDO EMERSON.
I HOPE IT INSPIRES YOU.

(Tales of a fashion designer) ANKARA SOIREE EXHIBITION AND FASHION SHOW-JULY 27TH 2013

Sometimes in life, leaving your comfort zone can be scary but being too comfortable in one position or place in life is not healthy. Exploring new opportunities, new places, new ideas, new dreams and new challenges is healthy, it helps you develop as a person and expand your existing knowledge beyond what you already know.

That’s why I decided to accept the invitation to showcase at the Ankara Soiree Fashion and Exhibition Show. I was so excited when I received an email from Skyline Limited “the organisers of the event”, God really favors His children. I am so thankful to the Almighty God, He has granted me several favors this year, God is kind. That was all I could think of as I went through the email.

I was born in Lagos, I never stayed permanently as I moved around a lot as a child. After secondary school, I left Minna and moved to Lagos again but just stayed for a year. To be honest, the Lagos life style is just a different ball game, Lagos is like a country of its own, everyone looks busy, acts busy, everyone moves with speed, there’s no time to slack or “DULL” according to our Nigerian dictionary which is yet to be produced by the way, we should produce our own dictionary, because we have a lot of slang, you have to shine your eyes, so they say. I don’t want to talk about the traffic situation.

Anyways, I moved to Port Harcourt mainly for Tertiary education and I remained in Port Harcourt. Lagos was just a place I visited for one purpose or the other. My current city of residence is Port Harcourt and Ankara Soiree was going to happen in “Lasgidi”.

I arrived Lagos by 5PM with my best friend, I was with two boxes, one contained my designs and shoes to be worn by the models, the other contained the accessories to be exhibited. We decided to enter a public bus, my best friend asked me to enter the bus while he puts my luggage in the back of the bus. He told the conductor sarcastically “Oga!!! If these bags get lost, make you follow am lost o”, passengers at the last row in the bus laughed but the conductor simply did not get the humor. He got really paranoid and told us in his thick Yoruba
accent to take our luggage and get out of his bus. We apologised and said we were joking. He repeatedly told us “we would get lost, he won’t get lost”. We repeatedly apologised, saying it was a joke, apparently that kind of joke will only work in Port Harcourt, if it happened in Port Harcourt, the conductor would laugh it off or smile and promise us that our luggage was safe. The man didn’t forgive us and so we got a cab that drove us down to my dad’s place. The traffic was not strange but it was so tiring, having to sit down in the car for another 2 hours. When we got home, we dosed off immediately.

The D-day arrived, it was Saturday and Lagosians were observing sanitation. After sanitation, my very good friend “Mena” met up with me at home and we all headed to Ikeja. I was so happy I had two good friends with me to share the experience. We arrived the venue by 11am and I was received warmly by the Organiser of the event “Mrs Prudence”. She was so down to earth and nice, it made me feel comfortable and relaxed. Minutes after, my exhibition stand was set up and the rest of the day went well. The models were amazing, Mena was the perfect personal assistant, helping me dress up the models.

The best part of the event was being interviewed by Silverbird entertainment crew and gisting with the Creative director of Babes for Life Patched Ankara. She has been in the industry for a while, she was so friendly, offering me advice and encouraging me, she even patronized me, she bought MFC ankara brooches. My best friend was so supportive, I couldn’t ask for a better best friend, He might not be perfect because Humans don’t like that tag but in my own world “He is the perfect best friend”. My family and some of my friends supported from afar with calls and lovely messages via black berry messenger.



When others encourage my dream, I simply say a simple prayer “GOD bless you abundantly”, I end this blog by saying “GOD bless everyone who made Ankara Soiree a wonderful experience” and Praise Jesus for the amazing opportunity.

View more photos of Ankara Soiree Fashion and Exhibition Show
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Yaaayyyy!!! Half of a Yellow Sun is now a movie.

I love it when novels turn into movie scripts. When you are reading an interesting book, all you do is imagine and paint a perfect picture to fit the plot. I am so excited that Chimamanda Adiche 's Half of a Yellow Sun has been turned into a movie. 

I saw the trailer last night and I knew immediately that I am going to love the movie. The cast is amazing. Keeping my fingers crossed and patiently waiting for the Premiere.

 Here's a sneak peek
Trailer: Half of a Yellow Sun - http://t.co/sU8xG9EpRN (via @sociablesite)

Sign the petition against under- age marriage law.

Click the link and sign the petition. Let's unite our voices against this barbaric law.

United Nations: Stop The Nigerian Senate From Making Under-Age Marriage The Law! http://t.co/5o8b5bW4Cq via @change

Continuation (A piece of fiction i wrote for a Magazine when i was still in Uniport. The next edition did not get published. Decided to publish it on my blog.

........................................................................................

She starred at me, using her hands to turn my face around like I was a baby or a new hand bag she was about to purchase and repeatedly said "She's pretty". I turned to Timi and asked him what was going on here. I was so ashamed, that the anger in me could not be expressed. Just one weekend of adventure, just my first trial of loving completely and I had fallen for the wrong Prince. I had lost my cherry to a charming player of the game. Timi didn't say much, he was too busy smiling and asking Alicia about her trip. It did not seem I was even present. Alicia embraced him and told him "How she had missed him, how London was boring without him, how she spent the holiday tagging along with her mom and visiting her cousins". I have never done a walk of shame in my life. It was something I saw in foreign movies, where the girl has a one night stand and leaves quietly without being noticed. In this case, I was the center of attention a few minutes ago and now I had been forgotten by the two stupid love birds. I quickly imagined standing up, getting into a fight with Alicia and leaving a permanent scar on her pretty face as a souvenir for Timi. Then, I checked back to reality immediately, i was not a drama queen, i had never even imagined I will be caught up in this kind of drama.

I went into the room, i packed my clothes sobbing and hating myself for being a fool for love. I looked at the sheets and I got more bitter. I wished I could go to my aunty's place and cancel my flight. I was not in the mood to return to school, I was not ready to narrate this humiliating bitter sweet story to my girlfriends. I thought of how they will have a fulfilled month laughing at me and turning me into the subject of gossip when they were bored. It was just too much for me. As I was still thinking of my next plan, Timi came into the room, He sat on the bed and said "He was sorry". I didn't mean to hurt you, I just needed company for the weekend, I really like you as a friend. You are a nice girl with a good heart, and I am sure you will find someone who will cherish you and love you but I am not the guy. I am not ready to be in a relationship and trust me, you don't want to date me, any girl who dates me now will die of paranoia. You look vulnerable and too nice. "And being nice is bad? I asked with a frown. Timi, you are evil, For God's sake, you slept with me, you took my virginity and now, you open your mouth to tell me you like me as a friend? You are wicked." I was crying and shaking. They call it a broken heart but I could feel the pain all over my body.

He was kind enough to drop me off at the airport. As we left his place, Alicia offered to follow us but he told her to stay behind, she smiled and told me "Good bye!!!". It turned out that they were in an open relationship, he told me all about his relationship with her as he drove me to the airport. She dated other guys and he was free to date other girls. It was a non exclusive relationship, then i thought "Crap!!! He slept with me without using a condom". We finally got to Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport, he brought an envelope out and told me it contained a hundred thousand naira and handed it over to me. I took the envelope and placed it in my hand bag. He smiled and kissed me on my cheeks. "Eniola, i know you hate me right now but please I still want us to remain friends, i am not a bad person, I am not just the kind of guy you need right now, I hope you forgive me soon". I smiled back and told him I had forgiven him but deep down inside me, I knew I had to forgive myself for stupidly losing my cherry to a play boy who was in an open relationship. What was I thinking? Okay!!! I certainly was not using my brain this weekend. All I could think of now was my health. I hugged him and told him "Good bye" and wished him the very best.

As I got to school, I did not disappoint my girlfriends with my story, it was juicy, the very type they liked to hear, they enjoyed the twist, the fact that Prince Charming was actually not that charming at all. My gist might have been entertaining but my life was more precious. The next morning came, it was Monday and while most students were getting ready to attend lectures, i was getting ready to visit the hospital to do a HIV test. Sometimes, we all get this feeling where you are hurting and somehow something worse happens, and the previous pain just disappears. As I waited for my result, I didn't think of the stupid mistake I had made or how Timi had turned out to be like the rest of THEM, all I could think of was my health. The result was out, the Doctor smiled and said "You are fine, you are HIV negative". As I left the hospital, I looked up and gave God a wink. I promised myself to concentrate on my immediate needs such as getting my degree and having clean good fun. A good man will surely appear someday.

The "Upcomers".

A meeting with a renowned photographer inspired this piece. I had to collect some of my featured runway photographs and decided to use the opportunity to talk about a photo shoot for my Afrocentric collection.

I had invested all of my NYSC savings on a fashion show, that was not enough, My family had to support in any little way. Each member of my family contributed their own quota to help me debut. When you are an entrepreneur, you take risks and you invest. Lately, i have invested my time and effort in branding my clothing line. So the photographer mentions the fee he will charge, and I am like "Is that the last price? And He says "Yes". Then I think about models and a make up artist, I have to pay them too. He says he can help me get models and a good make up artist that would charge a considerate fee. I laughed and then we summed up the monetary value of our conversation, I smile and tell him "Let me go back home and start saving", trying to be sarcastic but really telling myself "You have got to make this work". I tell him "It's not easy being up and coming", He says "It's not easy being up and coming in any industry" and he shares some of the ugly past experiences he has had over the years as a photographer. He is successful but he had gone through his own struggles as an up and coming entrepreneur. After the meeting, I realized most people likely go through the same process when starting out.

The Upcomers are people who dare to make their dreams come true. People who take a chance, go out and take a risk because they believe they can transform the world with their dreams. The upcomers are passionate about what they do. The upcomers are also people who are just starting, they are the beginners in any industry, they are the younger generation, they are a bunch of talents unfolding steadily and working so hard behind the scenes to ensure they get a brighter tomorrow. For someone to excel in life, sometimes all that matters is "belief" Which most upcomers don't get. Most people don't believe in upcomers because they are short sighted. I don't blame them, it is how they have configured their mindset. Most people want to be associated with success and not the process of it. If you are working hard to make a dream come true and no one believes in you, don't worry. God believes in you. With fame and money comes fake friends. God purposely wants you to know your real friends when the ride is smooth.

There are people whose job is to discourage your dreams, don't listen to them. As an upcomer, you have to choose what you listen to, negative thoughts are harmful and are discouraging which may make you attempt to murder your dreams . Remember "Opinions are not facts". Push yourself to the limit and replace negative thoughts with your vision and hope. I once overheard someone say "I can never wear her designs and she was my friend, It was petty gossip that i was not suppose to hear but I happened to hear it, It did not stop me from sketching designs or registering my clothing line with Corporate Affairs Commission. I have been blessed to have people act like potential clients on blackberry and take my sketches to their tailors to produce, it just taught me to do the business differently.

Don't get intimidated by other people's success. You have no idea how they got to the peak, learn from them and think of ways to take your dream to the next level. Being in a competition with another person is not healthy and it doesn't help. Each human has different goals. Run your own race. Your lane is different from any other person. Do not compete with established people. Find new opportunities, I learned this at an entrepreneurial forum.

If you fail, stand up and move on. Don't quit and blame it on failure, because failure itself is not excuse. Be optimistic and have faith. You need faith as an upcomer because most times, people don't really understand your dream, when you talk, all they hear is blabbing, they remain in the picture for one selfish future benefit or the other and I think this is the reason why Fela Durotoye said "Choose your friends based on where you are going to, not where you are coming from". So most upcomers are lonely people because they really can't share their stories with anyone. Most times, all you have is God and yourself. Don't get discouraged.

Keep taking chances, persevere, believe, inspire, give faith a fighting chance and most importantly have the courage to follow your HEART and INTUITION, they somehow already know what you truly want to become, everything else is secondary. You won't be an upcomer for long.


Dedicated to all dreamers, the dreams motivate the action and vision.

Delight in HIM

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart."(Psalm 37:4)

Are you believing God for something that seems to be taking a long time? In the natural, you may be tempted to get discouraged, but remember, God knows exactly where you are. He knows the desires He placed within you. He knows even the hidden dreams, what the scripture calls the secret petitions of your heart. Those are the things you haven't told anyone about. Maybe you thought they would never work out or you have buried them because they didn't happen on your own timetable. But God still has a way to bring them to pass.

Be encouraged today because God is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Delight yourself in Him, find joy in serving Him and make your heart moldable in his hands. Don't settle for mediocrity because God knows what's in you and His plan is to finish the work He began in you when you delight yourself in Him.

May you have a blessed week and remember Faith is all that dreamers need to see into the future.

Chapters of Adam (Shola's Tale)

Shola was from a broken home. She had no idea what true love meant. A divorce meant living two separate lives. One with her mom and one with her dad, that was suppose to be the case. However, Shola's tale was different, she was tossed around like the dice in a game of ludo.

Her parents were busy people, busy still living their own lives, moving on since a divorce is not a merry experience. Today, she was with her paternal aunt or uncle, tomorrow, she will be with her maternal aunt or uncle. No stability. Moving around gave her lots of experience, it was not a splendid experience. Her aunts and uncles were just family by blood but not family by heart. They had a trade mark of wickedness. A mark that Shola often thought should be stamped on their body like a tatoo.

As a teenager, your first experience of Adam starts in school when puberty hits you. Shola's heaven was a boarding secondary school, She still had to deal with mean humans. People who tagged themselves senior students and made the junior class the peasants. The senior students were the bourgeois in her boarding school. Her school was not a random aje butter school where students just learn, play, have fun and vacate. Her school was one that instilled discipline into the students, wanted or unwanted. It was one of the core values of the school and what the school was known for. No one talked about the standard of education. As far as the students were well behaved. It was an achievement for the school.

Her first term in school was tedious. Adapting to a new hostile environment was like a fresh injury. Shola adapted fast, her new environment could not to be compared to the one outside the walls of her almighty school. The seniors were little monsters compared to the giant monsters she had at home. She had no right to complain like the other junior students. She felt this boarding school was a blessing in disguise. First term passed, the second and third term passed and JS two came.

A year of secondary school brutality and all JS 2 students including Shola felt they were now strong enough for their school system.

Puberty appeared like a spirit in JS two. Shola's body started to take full shape, her breast started forming and the major one came. The one that parents were afraid of, the one that made them tell their daughters "You are now a woman o, do not let a boy touch you, if a boy touches you, you would get pregnant". When she became matured, she wondered why most parents told a lie because they were too scared to say the truth and educate their children on sex education.
Shola's first attraction to an Adam was in JS 2.... To be continued

Chapters of Adam (Prologue)

As young girls, we play, we love, we sing, we dance, we dream and hope that someday all our dreams will come true. We often dream of being successful, wealthy and happy endings. Being successful at our academics, careers, relationships and parenting.

Yeah!!! Dreams help us shapen our path and Yes!!! Our dreams are big and scary ones. They say "if your dream doesn't scare you, then it is not big enough. Every girl dreams of Prince Charming. The one in the story of Cinderalla. We all want to wear the glass shoe, we want the diamond ring,we want the big wedding, we want happily ever after, we want to smile forever and have the assurance that Prince Charming would always be around to brighten each day.

Many of us end up with Prince Charming and many don't get their happily ever after. Some end up living a fairy tale and some end up with reality. Unfair? Don't ask me. Ask all the Adams out there. Every man is capable of being Prince Charming but some just choose to be mean and pessimitic about intimacy. Why? Don't ask me. Ask all the Adams out there.
How many Frogs do you have to kiss before you meet your Prince Charming? Every girl has her own tale. Adam is a metaphor for men.

Chapters of Adam is an online piece of non-fiction that tells the story of different ladies and the relationships they have been in before meeting MR RIGHT. Dive into each lady's story every month. It promises to be interesting and intriguing.

How to succeed at being YOURSELF.

It's tough to enjoy life when you don't like yourself. People who have not learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to "Love your neighbour as yourself.

The Bible says a good tree will bear good fruit and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise the fruit of our lives comes from the root within us. If you are rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc. The fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a revelation of God's unconditional love for you and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit and your relationships will thrive.

Here are some few tips that will help you succeed at being yourself.

1. Never say or think negative things about yourself such as "I never do anything right" "I will never change" "I am terrible" "I am foolish" "Who could ever love me?" etc. Matthew 12:37 says by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. Proverbs 23:7 says as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves.

2. Speak good things about yourself in line with what the Word says about you. For example "I am the righteousness of God in Christ" "I am made acceptable in the Beloved" "God created me and formed me with his own hands and God doesn't make mistakes. Starting your day with positive confessions help. You can do this while you drive to work or in front of a mirror and say it loud. This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.

3. Never compare yourself with other people. God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently, even down to our fingerprints. You will never succeed at being yourself if you are trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you but duplicating even to their good traits will manifest differently through your individual personality.

4. Focus on your potentials instead of your limitations, try and develop your God given talents without looking at the limitations in the world. Take a first step, leap and grow. Ignore people who talk down on your dreams, leave your comfort zone and build yourself. Personal development is necessary in all fields of life.

5. Have the courage to be different and deal with constructive criticism. Be a God-pleaser and not a man-pleaser (See Galatians 1:10) if you dare to be different, you will have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know in your heart God is leading you somewhere is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions.

6. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence but they concentrate on their strengths, not their flaws or weaknesses.

In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: when you learn to succeed at being yourself, you will be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.

Tales of a fashion designer...African Fashion and Design Week.

Combining NYSC and fashion was not easy, especially preparing for my debut on The African fashion and design week runway. It was hectic, traveling almost every week since the venue for the fashion show was not Akwa Ibom State.

Then came the fitting day which clashed with my NYSC final clearance. I was so stressed, I thought of giving up one for the other, applying opportunity cost but they were both important to me. If i was to let go of one, it would have been my NYSC final clearance and that would guarantee 3 months extension of youth service. God bless my local inspector who agreed to clear me in my absence, God bless my fellow Corp members who understood my plight and joined me to plead for the special favour.

I rushed back to Port Harcourt, it was 4pm, i took my box of designs and headed for the venue for the event. As if my day was not filled with stress already, Heavy rainfall and traffic decided to add to the stress. I got to the venue and had to sit for hours watching the models rehearse, they had to catwalk several times just to be perfect. At that moment, I learned modeling was more than just skinny girls catwalking and posing.
I had my fitting by 9pm, by 10:05pm I was home, tired with heavy eyes and all I could think of as I took a shower was "Dreams are nothing without hard work, determination and persistence".

The day came and it was successful. NYSC passing out date was on the 6th of june and my debut was on the 7th. I had my family and friends there to support me. The models were affable girls who looked beautiful in my designs. When I used to imagine what my debut would be like, I always imagined the models catwalking and moving to the tunes of Waje's "I am so Inspired",the lyrics of that song inspires me a lot and that dream came true that night. When the DJ played the song, the models went out, did their thing, I peeped to look at the reaction on the guests faces, it was pleasing. At the end of the show, a man walked up to me, shaked my hands and told me "My designs are beautiful and Original". I was thrilled, the night ended with taking pictures, I was tired and sleepy but I managed to still smile. As I left the venue, i told myself "Well done Lamide". One leap at a time and this great dream of mine would all come true.

NYSC palava

I have not visited my blog in over one year. I blame NYSC, i remember being so happy when I saw my call up letter, Yaaay, i was posted to Akwa Ibom state. I had heard so many beautiful things about my state of origin. I didn't fancy camp though, it reminded me of my days as a junior student in secondary school, waking up as early as 3am, so i could avoid the 4am queue in the bathroom, then being chased out of the hostels by 5am by the Soldiers. I remember how we were being told repeatedly during lectures not to bribe anyone to influence our place of primary assignment, that everywhere in Akwa Ibom was beautiful. The D-day came for us to leave camp and report for duty at our place of primary assignment. Our platoon leader would jump and say congratulations if she saw Uyo on the letter or any other slightly developed town in the letter and if you were posted to a village, you could see it from her facial expression and instead of "Congratulations", she would say "Sorry" and it got to my turn and she said "Sorry". I took the letter and knew immediately that I had been posted to a village.

It was not easy serving my country in one year especially in a village that seems to despise development. I remember how difficult it was for me to find my primary place of assignment, it was hectic. There were no buses or taxis to transport, only bikes also known as "Okada". To make matters worse, it was raining season. I was on the bike under the rain shivering and asking myself "Is this thing called "Service" worth it?

I finally got to the village, the school was fine compared to all the others I saw on my way. I got to the corpers lodge in the school and met other senior corpers who were in batch A and then met some otondos who were like me, looking lost and confused, trying to figure out how they were going to survive in a village for one year. I easily adapt to life situation, I was trained that way but deep down inside, a part of me is still an aje butter. I told myself, if there was electricity, then I can manage. I asked the batch A Corp members if they had light, a friendly corper "Chinwe" answered. I was completely sad after she answered me. The village had not seen public light for the past 8 years because of transformer theft. They told us they charged their phones at a local phone accessory shop or in a fellow corper's room. He was the only corper who owed a generator. Still trying to assimilate the information of my new environment, I felt something biting me, it was slightly invisible but its bite was so visible as I saw parts of skin swell up immediately. I started itching and wondered what kind of place has mosquitoes playing around in the day. Mosquitoes are usually out in the evening. The batch A corpers quickly told us about the insect, it was a tiny creature called "Sand fly". Suddenly, mosquitoes had lost their title of being the most annoying creatures in Africa, i gave the title to these invisible blood sucking creature.

For some minutes, I stood still, asking myself "How will I survive here?" for a year. I stopped paying attention to what the Batch A corpers were saying. I called my mom immediately and started complaining, i called my dad and as usual, my hilarious father turned my complains into a joke, i laughed but that laughter just eased my feeling for five minutes. My dad is a positive high spirited man who believes that the Nigerian system is messed up but citizens can only manage by providing themselves with the basic social amenities they can afford. So if my new environment did not have electricity, i had to get a generator, if they did not have buses or taxis as a means of transportation, I had to get a rain coat to survive the raining season, if they did not have a nearby market that operated everyday, I had to buy bulk food stuffs that would be sufficient for me till the next market day.

My fiance was helpful, He called repeatedly to know how I was faring and adapting to my new environment. My sisters found the humour in my NYSC experience because I always had a new gist of my environment. My immediate younger sister tagged my experience "Tales of Afaha Obo".

I am so happy that service is over, it was a bitter sweet experience for me. I met new people, learnt how to teach students, learnt that I am a strong lady that can adapt to any situation in life. I lost some opportunities during my service year but I am thrilled that I was able combine service with the opportunities that were close to my new environment. I hear some people say "If I was given an opportunity to serve again, i would do it over and over. Well, not me. I am glad I served but it's not experience I want repeated.