I AM THAT GIRL PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY LABEL WITHOUT A CHANCE OF GETTING TO KNOW ME. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT MY LABEL IS, WELL, IT STARTS WITH BEAUTIFUL. I AM NOT BRAGGING. THEN THEY SAY I AM QUIET AND DOWN TO EARTH. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HUMAN BEINGS HAVE LABELS; I MEAN WE ARE NOT PRODUCTS IN THE SHOPPING MALL. THEN AGAIN, I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH THAT PART OF SPEECH IN ENGLISH LANGUAGE CALLED “ADJECTIVES”. ANYWAYS, PEOPLE WHO HAVE TAGGED ME WITH THESE LABELS ARE A 100% CORRECT. I HAVE NEVER REALLY BEEN THE RELATIONSHIP TYPE OF GIRL BECAUSE I THINK ALL A GUY THINKS OF WHEN HE WOES YOU IS HOW TO GET TO THE PLEASURE CENTRE, TO ME, GUYS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THE EMOTION CENTRE. THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE HEAT OF REAL PASSION. SO WHEN A GUY STOPS TO WOE ME, I SIMPLY SOLILOQUIZE “I GET IT, IF YOU WANT SEX, HOOKERS ARE PRETTY AFFORDABLE THESE DAYS”.
I HAVE MADE OUT WITH A COUPLE OF GUYS BUT ONCE THEY WANT TO GET TO SEE THE COLOUR OF MY PANTS, I IMMEDIATELY SNAP OUT OF THE MUSHY MOOD. PRATICALLY I WAS STILL A VIRGIN NOT BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF SEX FRECKED ME OUT BUT BECAUSE I COULD NOT BEAR THE PAIN OF A HEARTBREAK AND ALSO FEELING USED. FOR CHRIST SAKE, I CAME INTO THE WORLD AS A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A TISSUE PAPER. MY IDEA OF SEX IS VERY ROMANTIC. A CANDLE LIGHT SCENTED ROOM; MY PARTNER WOULD BE A PRINCE CHARMING WITH A SEX APPEAL THAT COULD THROW A LADY OFF BALANCE. HE WOULD BE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH ME, THAT WAY, WHEN HE TOUCHES ME, I WOULD KNOW THIS IS LOVE MAKING AND NOT SOME SORT OF QUICKY ON A HARD FOAM, AND WHEN THE GUY IS SATISFIED WITH HIS ROUNDS, HE JUST TURNS TO ONE SIDE OF THE BED, DOZES OFF AND SNORES. THIS YEAR, I BECAME TWENTY AND SOMEHOW I COULD NOT BELIEVE I WAS STILL A VIRGIN. I WAS JUST RECOVERING FROM MY THIRD HEART BREAK FROM THE SAME GUY. SOUNDS PATHETIC, RIGHT? IT STILLS BAFFLES ME HOW I COULD BE WITH DAVE AFTER HE BROKE MY HEART TWICE. I GUESS HE WAS JUST CHARMING AND I WAS UNDER A SPELL. THE THIRD TIME WAS THE LAST HEART BREAK; I WAS NOW READY TO USE MY BRAIN AND NOT FOOLISHLY FOLLOW MY HEART.
THREE WEEKS AFTER BREAKING UP WITH DAVE FOR CHEATING ON ME, ANOTHER PRINCE CHARMING SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET. I MEET HIM IN THE CINEMA, HE WAS JUST TOO CUTE, HE WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME. WE WERE WATCHING A ROMANTIC COMEDY “THE UGLY TRUTH”. WHEN HE LAUGHED, I FELT MY HEART MELT, IT FELT LIKE I WAS SITTING CLOSE TO AN ANGEL. SOMEHOW, MY HEART STARTED BEATING FAST, I ACHED FOR HIM TO JUST TALK TO ME. I WOULD NOT MIND BEING JUST A FRIEND. HE WAS SO INTERESTED IN THE MOVIE, SO I TRIED TO GET HIS ATTENTION. OUT OF MY DESPERATION, I STOOD UP WITH MY POP CORN AND ACTED LIKE I WAS HEADING OUT OF THE CINEMA TO RECEIVE A PHONE CALL, THEN I LET MY POP CORN OUT OF MY HAND AND IT POURED DIRECTLY ON HIM. I AM SORRY! I QUICKLY SAID NOT KNOWING HOW HE WAS GOING TO REACT. HEY! TAKE IT EASY, HE SMILED BACK, THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. WE PACKED THE POP CORN TOGETHER INTO THE PACK. THEN I SAT DOWN, AND HE CONTINUED WATCHING THE MOVIE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING TO ME. SO I SAID I WAS SORRY FOR THE SECOND TIME, HE SMILED AGAIN AND SAID IT WAS OKAY. WHEN THE MOVIE WAS OVER, I GAVE UP HOPE AND WALKED OUT OF THE CINEMA, AS I HEADED TO BOARD A CAB, SOMEONE TOUCH ME ON MY SHOULDER. IT WAS HIM. I AM SORRY, I DID NOT STRIKE A CONVERSATION INSIDE THE CINEMA. EVERYONE WAS SO KEEN ABOUT THE MOVIE AND I DID NOT WANT US TO BE THE NOISE MAKERS. BY THE WAY, I AM TIMI. I SMILED BACK SHEEPPIHSLY, I COULD FEEL MY HANDS TREMBLING, I PRAYED IN MY HEART THATHE WOULD NOT SHAKE MY HANDS. YOU CAN CALL ME ENIOLA. THAT’S A NICE YORUBA NAME. THANKS! SO ENIOLA DO YOU STAY IN PORT HARCOURT? YEAH BUT I AM ALWAYS TRAVELLING, SO I AM NOT REALLY A TYPICAL PORT HARCOURT GIRL. I SEE! HE SAID SMILING. I DON’T STAY IN PORT HARCOURT, I ONLY CAME HERE FOR A WEDDING CEREMONY, I STAY AT ABUJA. I LOVE ABUJA, I HAVE AN AUNTY WHO RESIDES THERE AND I RANDOMLY VISIT MY COUSINS. THAT IS INTERESTING. I GUESS YOU ARE A STUDENT? YEAH! I AM IN MY THIRD YEAR STUDYING COMPUTER SCIENCE IN UNIPORT. YOU MUST BE A GURU, NO OH! I JUST TRY MY BEST. HERE’S MY CARD, FLASH ME AND I WOULD GIVE YOU A CALL. I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A RIDE HOME BUT MY FRIEND IS INSIDE WAITING FOR THE PREMIER OF “HANG OVER”. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND MAKE SURE YOU FLASH ME. TOODLES, HE SAID AND HURRIED BACK INSIDE THE CINEMA. I WAS SO HAPPY, AND SILENTLY THANKED GOD THAT THIS ANGEL DID NOT PASS ME BY.
WEEKS PASSED BY, AND WE WERE LIKE BEST FRIENDS, WE SHARED A LOT OF THINGS IN COMMON. THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THE DISTANCE BUT IT DID NOT MATTER BECAUSE TIMI WAS A RICH AND YOUNG ENTREPRENEUR. HE COULD AFFORD TALKING TO ME FOR HOURS IN THE DAYTIME. HE WAS DIFFERENT FROM THOSE CHEWING GUM GUYS WHO CALLED IN THE MID NIGHT DURING MTN FREE HOUR. I WENT TO BED WITH TIMI ALWAYS ON MY MIND, I SAW HIM IN MY DREAMS AND I WOKE EVERY MORNING ARCHING TO BE BY HIS SIDE. ONE AFTERNOON, AFTER LECTURES, TIMI CALLED AND ASKED ME, IF I WOULD LOVE TO COME SPEND THE WEEKEND IN ABUJA WITH HIM, I SAID YES WITHOUT HESISTATING. HE SENT ME MONEY FOR MY TRIP. MY GIRLFRIENDS THOUGHT IT WAS NOT WISE TO TRY SUCH AN ADVENTURE BUT I IGNORED THHEM BECAUSE I HAD NEVER DARED TO DO ANYTHING DANGEROUS. ABUJA WAS FUN ALL THE WAY THROUGH, HE SPOILT ME WITH SHOPPING AND EXPENSIVE GIFTS. I COULD NOT WAIT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL AND NARRATE MY FAIRY TALE TO MY FRIENDS.
MY FAIRYTALE TURNED INTO SOUR EXPERIENCE. I WAS TO LEAVE ON MONDAY MORNING WITH AN EARLY FLIGHT. SUNDAY WAS COOL, TIMI TOOK ME TO A 5 STAR RESTAURANT AT MAITAIMA, AFTER HAVING A DINNER DATE, WE HEADED HOME. WHEN WE GOT HOME, HE MADE A HOT CUP OF COFFEE AND THEN WE TALKED ABOUT MY OWN DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS. THEN SUDDENLY, HE WAS QUIET, I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, EVEN THOUGH, WE HAD BEEN GOOD FRIENDS FOR SIX MONTHS, I WAS STILL SHY AROUND HIM. HE HELD MY HANDS AND GAVE ME A LIGHT KISS, MY HEART STARTED BEATING FAST. TIMI! PLEASE STOP! HUSH ENIOLA, STOP TALKING, YOU ARE RUINING THE MOOD, I LIKE YOU. I AM SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS BY NOW; YOU DON’T NEED ME OR A SOOTHSAYER TO TELL YOU THAT I CARE. I HAVE SHOWN IT IN MY ACTIONS. I SAID NOTHING, I WAS READY AND I IMMEDIATELY KNEW THIS WAS THE PRINCE CHARMING THAT COULD BREAK ME AND TAKE IT ALL. HE KISSED ME SOFTLY, I FELT I WAS DREAMING, HE WAS SUCH A GOOD KISSER, HE KISSED ME ALL OVER AND THEN CARRIED ME TO HIS BEDROOM AND MADE SWEET LOVE TO ME.
I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING WITHOUT REGRETS, I FELT LIKE A PRINCESS AND I WISHED RIGHT ON HIS BED THAT HE WOULD BE MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER. HE WAS NOT IN BED; I TIPTOED TO THE PARLOUR TO SEAL HIS LIPS WITH A MORNING KISS, AS I APPROACHED THE PARLOUR I HEARD A FEMALE VOICE, SHE WAS GIGGLING AND HER VOICE WAS FLIRTITIOUS. I IGNORED THE FEELING OF JEALOUSY INSIDE ME AND STILL WENT TO MEET HIM. AS I REACHED HIM, HE SMILED AND THE LADY WITH HIM SMILED AND SAID “I GUESS THIS IS THE ANGEL, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT?” YEAH! YOU ARE RIGHT. I WAITED PATIENTLY FOR AN INTRODUCTION. ENIOLA! YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL, ANYWAYS, MEET ALICIA, MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME? I ASKED TIMI LOOKING DUMBFOUNDED. I WAS TREMBLING, I COULD FEEL AN INVISIBLE ARROW PUNCTURE MY HEART, WHAT THE HELL WAS HE TELLING ME? IF ALICIA WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND, WHY WAS SHE NOT MAD AT HIM FOR HAVING ME SPEND THE WEEKEND AT HIS POSH APARTMENT? A LOT OF QUESTIONS KEPT POPPING IN MY HEAD BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE QUESTIONS SPINNED MY HEAD. PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE JOKING, .............................................................................. TO BE CONTINUED.
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